Big Time Depressed
by Alcohol-Food-Life
Summary: Title says it all
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fic! I hope you like it... *gets to a corner to hide***

Logan's POV

It was 4AM and I was already up. I looked at the other side of the room where Kendall was talking in his sleep ''no please leave Katie alone''. He was so protective over Katie and I thought it was actually really cute. I was trying to fall asleep again but like always I couldn´t, so I went to the kitchen to grab something to eat. The bed was making a lot of noise and Kendall almost woke up. I stepped with baby steps out of our room and opened the door. Once in the kitchen I could walk normal speed again and finally get something to eat. I made a sandwich and went to the couch to watch some cartoons.

The next morning I woke up because Mrs. Knight was arguing with Carlos and James because they needed to clean their room. I was in their room yesterday and believe me your jaw would fall on the ground! Everywhere you looked were cudda stuff and combs and some helmets and clothes. They knew they couldn't win an argue with Mrs. Knight because she always wins, so they cleaned their room and I got back to my own room and doing some homework.

After a couple of hours making my homework Kendall came in the room and asked me ''He Logan, do you know where I can find some really cheap earrings for Lucy?''

''Euhm I don't know, what kind of earrings do you want to give her?'' I asked

''Well she likes dark colors so maybe something dark?''

''Then you should go to the Gothic shop just around the corner, they sell dark earrings for 2 dollars I think''

''Thanks man''

''No problem at all, I'm glad to help a friend''

After Kendall left I didn't want to make my home work, for the first time in my life, so I called Camille to hang out. Of course Camille wanted to hang out. So we decided when and where we would meet each other. We agreed to go and meet and the Palm Woods park in one hour.

I was early so I sat on a nearby bench to wait till Camille would show up. After ten minutes she finally showed up. She yelled ''Hey Logan'' and ran in my direction.

''Hey Camille, I'm waiting like forever'' I said.

''Yeah I'm a little bit late, sorry about that'' She said.

After some random conversations I told her ''Camille I want to tell you something, and please don't tell anyone.''

''Of course I won't tell someone if you don't want me to.'' She said

''Okee here it goes, Camille I'm gay…'' I said shaking

She just sat there with disbelief in her eyes. ''But we had a relationship, how is that possible?'' She asked.

''I wish I knew, but I'm pretty sure it's not because of you'' I told her to cheer her up a little.

''Logan I don't mind you being gay, I accept you just the way you are and I will never leave your back''

I had tears in my eyes because of what she said. ''Are you okee Logan?''

''Yeah it's just…. Well… euhm… I don't know how to thank you for accepting me.''

''Awh Logan of course I accept you we're friends.''

''yeah I know but you're the second person who I told, I told Carlos last week and he was all like you're still my best friend no matter what. And for the last year I was kind of depressed because of the fact that I'm gay.''

''Logan, please understand me and Carlos won't let you alone because you're gay'' Camille said.

Then I received a text message from James that he wanted to talk to me.

So I went to apartment 2J and saw James sitting on the couch waiting on me.

''So what's up?'' I asked.

James sighed ''Logan I need to tell you something…. Carlos told me you're gay.''

I was freaking out ''No, no, no why did he do that?''

''Well I asked him if he knew you were gay or bi, because I had the thought you were'' James said.

''So you asked him and he told you?'' I asked with disbelief and a little bit with sarcasm.

''Well actually he told me you were straight, but I let him tell me'' He looks at me with an evil grin.

''What did you do?''

''I just hold him in a headlock'' he said with an even more evil smile.

''But you don't hate me?'' I asked

''Why should I hate you, were friends for more than 10 years.''

''I know but maybe you would hate me because I'm gay?''

''Logan I'm not hating you! And don't be like this.''

''You mean that?'' I asked with disbelief.

James nodded and I just needed to hug him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter yaaaaay hope u like it!:D**

It's been a week now since I told Camille and James the fact that I'm gay. And James is a pain in the ass with nagging that I should tell Kendall and come out to the world. But I think I just can't do it, it's too difficult you know.

So today I told myself ''Okee Logan, now is the day to tell Kendall!'' still not sure about how or when I'm going to tell him but it will be today. So I walked out of apartment 2J to mentally prepare myself for later today but of course Kendall was just about to go inside.

''Hey Logan, you're going outside?'' he asked.

''Well euhm…. Yeah I think so''

''Ow well I just thought… Logan's still in the apartment maybe we can hang together and play some videogames''

I hesitated and just opened the door again and walked it with Kendall behind me.

He put the TV on and did the videogame inside the console while I was getting something to drink.

''Kendall what do you want?'' I asked

''Give me whatever you're taking''

''So Pepsi it is'' I said while pouring some in 2 glasses.

''So which game are we going to do?'' I asked.

''Ow well I thought we could do Call of Duty zombie mode''

''Okeee sounds like fun it has been ages since we played that for the last time'' thinking back.

''Yeah I know that's why we're going to play it today'' he said with a smile.

After gaming for like 2 hours I finally found the courage to tell Kendall.

''Kendall I have something really important to say'' I said while looking at my hands which were shaking.

''Yeah what is it buddy?'' he said with concern in his voice.

''Well… please don't hate me for this… but…. I'm.. Gay'' I said while looking in his eyes.

He just looked at me whit disgust. And told me ''I don't want to know you anymore!''

Right at that moment James and Carlos came in.

''What's happening here?'' Carlos asked while James was looking shocked after what he heard.

I just sat there on the couch with tears in my eyes.

''Logan are you alright?'' Carlos came to me and tried to let me feel better but it didn't work.

''You're gay? Why didn't you tell me sooner so I knew I wouldn't be your friend?'' Kendall yelled.

''WTF dude, its Logan he's your best friend!'' said James to try and calm him down.

After hearing Kendall saying that, I wouldn't be in the same room anymore so I ran to my room and James ran after me.

''Get out of my room you filthy Gay!'' Kendall yelled. I heard Carlos crying because our group had just fallen apart.

''Logan are you alright?'' James said while rubbing my back.

''please leave me alone'' I said crying and sobbing '' I don't want any of you see me like this''

''I'm not letting him go away with this'' James said while walking angrily to the door where Kendall was kicking at.

James pulled the door open with a great amount of anger and punched Kendall on his jaw.

''You need to calm down, can't you see how hard it is for him?'' James yelled at Kendall.

Kendall just stood there with anger towards James and with disgust towards me.

''I want him out of my room tonight!'' he said while walking out of apartment 2J.

I pushed James out of my room and locked it.

''Logan let me in!''

''NO! Leave me alone''

''Logan open up! Please'' Carlos cried.

''GO! AWAY!'' I yelled.

''Carlos come here, he needs to calm down'' I heard James saying.

*Finally they're gone* I thought.

I got back to my bed and took a razor blade in my hand. I always had one near my bed because I felt down a lot. But this time it would be different. Because this time it won't be for cutting myself but for suicide! I placed the razorblade on my wrist it sliced over it. But I was to scared to actually let blood come out of it. So I placed it again and sliced it.

**Sooooo what do you guys think? And sorry for the Kendall fans out there I just wanted to someone from the band hate Logan. And James can't be it it's a Jagan story and Carlos is just too cute to hate people for such things. ****Revieuw please**


End file.
